I am 38 years old and in love with a married man. I think about him every day. I don't know what to do, as it is affecting other relationships I have. I need your advice on how to stop loving this person so much. He told me he loves me and I really believe that he does. He treats me like a lady and whenever we meet, we have a wonderful time. He lives in Jamaica and I live in the United States. We communicate by phone when we can and have been seeing each other for the past four years.

We have been keeping the relationship a secret. I believe that I should move on and forget him, but I don't know how. I am a Christian and so is he.

Secretly in love

Dear Secretly in love,

There is no future in a relationship that has to be kept a secret. Tell the man you would love to get married and settle down and that you know the relationship that both of you are having has no lasting future. So, he should allow you to go your own way. And, although it would be painful, you will eventually get over him.

Pastor