Good day. I am having a real big problem. My husband and I used to have a good relationship but things have got worse. He watches blue movies each day and night and smokes regularly. Whenever I mention sex, he tells me he is tired. He is a morning person and wakes when the kids do.

THREE WEEKS TOO LONG

Sometimes, as much as three weeks pass before we have sex because he can't be bothered. We work on Sundays. When he's at home, he doesn't help out around the house. When his friends call on him to do anything, he is ready and able. We run our own business but he is not serious about what he does. I have to be the one behind him to pay the bills and everyone else, or they never get done.

Pease help me.

K.B., Portland, Jamaica

Dear K.B.,

Your husband is happier looking at blue movies than having sex with you. at least, that is how it appears. It appears that after your husband is finished enjoying himself watching these movies, he has no energy or desire to have sex with you.

Some men watch blue movies and masturbate, so they do not feel that there is a need to have sex with their wives.

some men watch blue movies for ideas and apply these ideas when having sex with their wives. Others watch it for fun and because they are addicted to doing so.

A problem

If your husband is watching blue movies everyday and night, he has a problem and may need professional help.

At least he's not leaving the house to go and look for other women. Perhaps you may question him to find out what is his problem and suggest that both of you go to see a family counsellor.

Concerning paying the bills, don't rely on your husband. Have a family conference and tell him that you will take over the paying of the bills, provided he has money in the account.

Pastor