Dear Pastor,

I have a problem. I have been with my boyfriend for three-and-a-half years and I love him dearly, but he never listened to me when I told him to stay out of trouble and now he is in a detention centre for fighting at college. His parents failed to bail him out although they could. I had been on holiday for a month, but because of his incarceration, I had to come home early. He calls me from the detention centre. I am waiting for him to come out and file for him to come to the United Kingdom, but my stepmother dislikes him. She wants me to talk to guys who sell drugs so that she can scandalise my name. I really love this guy and I don't know what to do.

Can you give me your fatherly advice, please?

S.W., United Kingdom

Dear S.W.,

You are old enough to choose for yourself. Your boyfriend has got himself into trouble and, as a result, ended up in a remand centre. I hope that he will learn to control himself and walk away from trouble in the future. Grown men ought not to fight each other. They can have disagreements and talk things out. They should not pull weapons or even engage in any type of brawls.

May I suggest that you consult Immigration in the United Kingdom and get all the information you need from them before you marry this man. It would not make sense marrying him and discover after that he will not be able to join you in the United Kingdom.

Pastor