Dear Pastor,

I am a 23-year-old woman who lives in Canada. I have been dating a guy for almost three years and things were good. We were going to get married in December and I told him that I wanted to wait until next year and we agreed. But, things went bad when I started to work and I didn't have as much time to talk to him anymore. He started to say I didn't love him anymore but that's not true. I do love him. Now, he is finding a lot of faults with me. He wants to take a break. He said he just wants us to be friends for now.

I think he is angry with me because I told him that I am going to put my mom first, before anyone else. I love him so much and I don't want to lose him. I don't know what to do. I am going crazy. He said he needs time for himself because he always put other people before himself and he always gets hurt and he doesn't want me to hurt him.

Please, help me. I can't lose him.

T.L., Canada

Dear T.L.,

I want you to comfort yourself. Stop fretting. This boyfriend that you love so much is not levelling with you. To put it bluntly, he is lying. It is likely that he has his interest somewhere else. You might have told him that you are not going to put anybody before your mother, but that is not the reason why he is pulling away from you.

You do not have as much time to be with him, as before, because of your job. He should understand that. And he should make much of the time that you are able to be together. If he is so eager to be with you, why is he suggesting giving the relationship a break? That doesn't make sense. He might as well learn to speak the truth and not try to make a fool out of you.

My dear, let this man go. He will cause you to suffer from stress. This matter of him getting hurt is nonsense. You are not doing anything to hurt him. He is trying to be a 'ginnal'.

Pastor