If you want something done well don't ask the Government to do it. There has been more than ample proof of that since last Friday when this week-long celebration of our victorious Olympians began.

It started pretty OK last Friday when the only thing I could really complain about was the sight of Minister Olivia 'Babsy' Grange riding high in the back of a convertible waving to the crowd like she won medals in Beijing, or like she had anything to do with the athletes' unprecedented success there.

Oh yes, and there was the invisible security detail that could have put the athletes at risk. There was a prelude of things to come last month on the arrival of Usain Bolt, when the prime minister was almost squashed by an exuberant crowd at the airport. Apparently, nothing was learned from that experience.

The cock-ups last week started with the fiasco in Strawberry Hill, where guests paid as much as J$15,000 a plate to dine and rub shoulders with our Beijing heroes, but for much of the night those plates remained empty.

And from what I am hearing, some of the athletes' plates remained empty for just as long. You would think that being the guests of honour the least that could have been done was to make sure they were fed before anybody else. People who were there tell me that at close to midnight some people, athletes included, were ready to eat whatever plant life was lying around. That's such a disgrace.

Much more information

I am sure that much more information will be revealed in time but I, for one, definitely need some elucidation on what exactly is meant by "the breakdown of key kitchen equipment" as the cause for the delay in the serving of food. Key kitchen equipment to me means stove, pots, warmers, frying pans, what else? How do those things break down?

Yeah, I think somebody needs to explain this thing a little better.

The mess-ups would continue with the gala at the National Stadium, this time with the athletes playing their part. I mean, did someone forget to tell Danny McFarlane that he was receiving a national honour and that a 'pimp' jacket and jeans were not appropriate attire?

Good God!

And what made it stand out even more was that all the other men wore suits. Danny has done so well for us over the years and we are all very proud, but even he has to admit that that was a blunder of major proportions.

The women were also quite bad, and it suggests to me that no one bothered to brief them on what was appropriate attire for the occasion. That said, Shelly-Ann did look cute in that little number she was wearing, no matter how inappropriate.

And who the hell planned that thing? What, did somebody tell them the theme was from party night at Hedonism II?

I will move on here because if I listed the things that have been mucked up during these celebrations I would need about a month worth of space to even get close to mentioning them all. Besides, for the most part, I think the athletes seemed to enjoy the adulation and overall massive show of support and they are the ones who count in all this.

More blunders

I am just glad that this thing is coming to an end soon because with each event there has been more and more blunders. I am also grateful that the people who planned it had nothing to do with the preparation of the athletes for the Games in Beijing. If they did, we wouldn't be celebrating the athletes' resounding success and we would not have been afforded these rare feelings of national pride.

The one silver lining, though, would be that I wouldn't have to see 'Babsy' on the back of a convertible waving like some faux princess taking credit in advance for overseeing the mess that played out this week.

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