Dear Pastor,

I am a 20-year-old young lady and I am in love with a 34-year-old guy who is loving, caring and really passionate to me. Although he is much older than I, I do not pay that any attention. He works and lives in his own house. But I have a boyfriend who is 22 years old. He is such a liar. All his friends says I am his 'wifey' and he does not have any other girl, but I know he has other girls.

He says that he loves me and any time I am going to break up with him he starts to cry or he starts acting like a baby. He says I am the only girl who ever cared for him and loved him so much.

Another thing is he does not take care of himself. He will do without having a hair cut in two months or more.

He won't go to look something to do with his life like going back to school or look a job. All he wants to do is just go on the road every day or go with friends to smoke. He does not call me, we don't go anywhere and he never buys me anything.

Should I stay with my boyfriend or get involved with the other man?

T. L., USA

Dear T. L.,

If the 34-year-old man is free and by that I mean is not having any intimate relationship with anyone and you know that for sure, you may consider becoming his girlfriend.

You say that you love him. If he loves you as much as you love him, both of you can agree to give the relationship a try. Pastor

However you need to bear in mind that a man in his 30s is likely to have a special woman in his life. If he doesn't, that would be a little unusual. On the other hand, anything could have happened. He could have had a girlfriend and they broke up or she has died. So check him out before you get involved with him.

Your present boyfriend is a big joker. He is surely not the type of man you should have in your life. It is strange that he doesn't know how to take care of himself, yet he has so many girlfriends. How does he expect to support himself if he does not work? Your future will not be bright if you stay with him.

Pastor