Dear Pastor,

I have always read your column and I have found your advice to be helpful. In October 1994, my girlfriend at the time had my daughter at the Victoria Jubilee Hospital. I was not present at the time of birth because she had the baby while I was at work. I went to the hospital the next day and went into my girlfriend's room. I asked her for the baby and she told me the baby was in the nursery. Her aunt and I went to the nursery to check on my child. I asked the nurse on duty for my baby and she left and came back without the baby.

COME BACK

She told me I could not see the baby. I told her I was the father and she told me I would have to come back the next day. I went back to my girlfriend's room and told her what the nurse said. She started to worry, but we calmed her down and we went home.

The next day her aunt and I went back to visit my girlfriend. We also went to the nursery. The nurse on duty told us the same thing and this went on for three days. It started to bother me but by the fourth day I received a call and I was told my baby was dead. Pastor, it is like something is missing in my life. She would have been fourteen years old now. I think about the baby everyday and I often wonder if she is not dead.

DREAMS

Recently I have been having dreams of my mother, who has been dead for eleven years. She keeps telling me to go and find her grand daughter.

Pastor I want to know if you think I should pursue looking for my baby? I think she is still somewhere out there. I did not even see a body, which is why it is bothering me so much. My son keeps telling me of dreaming of his sister.

L. H., Ontario, Canada

Dear L. H.,

I don't understand why you were not told that the baby was dead until after four days. Why was the mother not informed? And why did you not insist that you be shown the body of the baby? Was the baby shown to her mother?

I cannot encourage to try to find someone who is dead. You have been having dreams, but your dreams don't tell that the child did not die.

Be comforted, my friend, by the thought that you have a son. Unfortunately, he is listening to what you are saying about his sister being alive and he is wondering where she is. You are confusing your son. Stop doing so.

Pastor