Dear Pastor,

I am 22 years old and I have been in a relationship for the past five years. I have cheated twice in the relationship. The first time it happened, we were going through problems. I ended up in another relationship for three months, which ended with the person stalking me. I am currently in a relationship with someone at my workplace. This guy is every girl's fantasy. He is handsome, he makes me laugh and I enjoy spending time with him. I found out that he did not end the relationship with his ex-girlfriend. She came to the house one day and told him to make a choice. He chose me and I decided to continue the relationship.

I keep straying

I love my boyfriend of five years, but I keep straying. He has treated me well and he spoils me with affection, but something is lacking. My boyfriend found out about my other relationship when he saw pictures of the man and me in my email. He has been faithful to me the entire time and now he is not talking to me. He called me a whore and a slut. The reason why I think I am straying is because we had a big fight a year ago and things have not been the same since. He asked if I would go with him for counselling but I refused.

Pastor, I want to know what is wrong with me. Should I give up five years and stay with the new guy? I really love my boyfriend, but faithfulness is a big issue.

Confused, USA

Dear Confused,

You have low moral standards. You are allowing men to toy with you. You are old enough to know that if you have a boyfriend and both of you are steady, you should stick with him unless you have found that he is dishonest, a liar, a thief, a womaniser, an abuser, etc.

You have come to realise that your character is very bad. However, you refuse to go to counselling. I suggest that if you seriously need help, you should inform your boyfriend that you are prepared to go for counselling.

Pastor