Morgan Heritage

I have always pointed out that Morgan Heritage's She's Still Loving Me is a punishment tune. Sure, it's presented as a song about a woman's loyalty to her man and I am sure that neither the Heritage clan nor the vast majority of the music-loving public see it the way I do. But take a good listen to the lyrics.

And the same goes for Air Supply's Just As I Am. These are certainly not the only ones in this category of emotional sadism, but they will do as examples.

For those of us who rock to the beat more than listen to the lyrics, scan some of the words of She's Still Loving Me:

"She's still loving me

Though I caused her so much pain

I've done my share of wrong (my share of wrong)

Time and time again"

Then in another verse there is:

"She's still loving me

Through all the trials and pain

Oh I play around

Still she held it down (yes she did)

She's still loving me

Even though I made her cry

Caused her many sleepless nights"

And her reward for all this is:

"She's my one and only

I ain't going nowhere

I ain't gonna leave my lady"

As far as I am concerned, it is only dumb animals which cannot provide for themselves that get constant abuse (for that is what 'I made her cry, caused her many sleepless nights is) and stick around for more because they simply cannot do any better. All for the great honour of finally getting the man to choose her from the pack? Why? Because she is the only one who stayed and took the abuse?

Reverse the genders

Air Supply - file photos

Reverse the genders in the song (have a woman singing to a man) and see how absurd it is. Any man who 'holds it down' while his woman 'plays around' would be the laughing stock of everyone who knows of the situation. And any woman who sings a song entitled 'He's Still Loving Me' would not be getting many shows; the men would pitch her off the stage.

Then there is Just As I Am, which took the sky down when I went to the Rae Town oldies street jam on Sunday night. It is not as harsh as She's Still Loving Me, but part of it goes:

"I've met a lot of cold hearts

I've learned to smile and deceive

I know I'm hard to be around

But you never leave"

There it is again, this complimenting of a woman who sucks up the punishment but keeps on coming back for more.

Of course, there will be quite a few women reading this and wondering 'so what's his problem?' Because these songs are reflective of a sexist mindset that has become the norm not only for many men but also women. And that's the wickedest thing about abuse, when you are getting it and don't even know.

But those who find themselves in the position where these supposed love songs apply should ask themselves if the other women the guy had, also put up with the bull, where would I be now?