Dear Pastor,

I am a 20-year-old woman. I have been dating a guy, who is 22, for about six months, but we have been friends for about a year. We are very much in love and we have a very honest relationship. He has a daughter who is four years old and she lives with her mother. He told me about her from the very beginning of our friendship. Recently, I randomly asked him about a girl I heard he was friendly with. He told me she was his ex-girlfriend and that was it. I left it alone.

Confessed

A few days later, out of the blue, he confessed to me that she was eight months pregnant for him, and that he wanted to tell me a long time ago, but he didn't want to risk losing me. He said they're only friends and that he only keeps in contact with her for the sake of their unborn child. I decided to stay with him because I felt he was man enough to tell me and he didn't try to act like a saint and sugarcoat the situation. I respect him for doing that and it is partly the reason I am still with him.

I kind of feel like the other woman though, like I'm stealing her man at a point in her life when she's very vulnerable in her pregnant state. Am I being selfish by still having a relationship with him? He doesn't like talking about it because he thinks I'm throwing it in his face, but I have questions that need to be answered. We are trying to work things out, and I know I can't stop him from seeing her. After all, she is going to have his child and that would be very selfish and unfair of me to request. I am so confused. I keep asking him if he would do the same thing to me if I were the one who was pregnant and he claims he would never do that because the 'love' he has for me is different. But if he did it to her, what makes me any different. Whenever I think about the situation I'm in, I get very upset with him, and I must admit I do tend to bring it up, so he can feel bad at times.

Should I give him a second chance or move on with my life? I feel like I would be at a loss though because he has been with me through thick and thin and I know he would never walk out on me. Should I stay or should I leave and let him be with the woman who is pregnant for him, even though he claims they're no longer together?

K.W., Quebec, Canada

Dear K.W.,

This guy is not speaking the truth. He deceived you. He is still with this pregnant girl and he will not give her up. If you wish to remain with him, it is up to you. He knows that you are naive, so he has been lying to you. May God open your eyes, so that you will see that this guy is a liar.

Pastor