Dear Pastor,

I have a problem that I hope you may be able to help me with. When I was 18 years old, I met a guy who is now my son's father. We have been together for nine years. He is six years older then me. We do get along with each other very well and he is a good man, but something does not sit right with me. Over the last year and a half, my feelings for him have changed. I do not know why, but everything he says and does gets on my nerves.

His habits are out of this world. For example, he can go without a shower/bath for about a month. He will brush his teeth and wash his face daily, but then he wants me to sleep with him, which I find very hard to do. I also think he is jealous of me. Whenever I want to go out, whether I am going to a party or visiting family or friends, he thinks I am cheating on him. He wants to come with me, which is starting to upset me. I can't get time alone for myself when I get back from work. He works too, but he does not have a social life. He spends all of his time at home, under my feet, playing computer games and watching TV.

I am starting to hate him now because he's not the man I thought he was. I've tried talking to him, but I feel that my words are not getting through. I even told him that I want to end the relationship, but he thinks I'm just playing with him. He lives with me and I want to kick him out because he's making me very unhappy. I don't want to end up cheating on him, but if that's what it takes for him to understand that I want out, then it is something I am going to have to do.

Please, pastor, help me with this problem of mine.

C.B., Birmingham, England

Dear C.B.,

This guy and you are living together. Am I to understand that when it is cold in Birmingham this guy doesn't take a bath? Oh my goodness, regardless of how cold it gets, a man must take a bath. He is nasty, nasty, nasty.

I can see why you find it difficult to sleep with him. I suggest that both of you go for counselling. Perhaps the counsellor may help him to understand that he shouldn't take you for granted.

Pastor