Dear Pastor,

I am 20 years old in a relationship with a 24-years-old man for the past four years who I have been living with for about seven months now. I love him very much and I don't have to ask if he loves me dearly. I don't have a problem with him and our relationship. We never have cheating problems or things like that. He treats me well and I also have a job. His mother and friends admire us a lot. I have been with him from school days (even though we weren't been intimate until I graduated).

A STEP FURTHER

I have never cheated on him and I try at all times not to do anything that will pose a problem to him. That he says is one of the reasons why he loves me. He wants to settle down and have a steady relationship which we are doing, but he wants to put it a step further (even though he is not in any hurry to have children).

Now, pastor this is where my head goes. Sometimes I feel like I want to be single, have fun, explore, and enjoy my youth and not feel guilty of anything. It's not that I want another boyfriend or any intimate friend or want to cheat on him; it's just that I think I'm still young and sometimes I think I should be going out on my own enjoying life and not being committed to anyone.

On the other hand, pastor, I am asking myself, why would I want to run from my relationship and someone I love, without any reason? I know this will tear him apart. And besides I don't have the guts to tell him to give it a break. I just don't want to hurt him.

What do you think I should do, pastor?

S.C., St Andrew, Jamaica

Dear S.C.,

Tell your boyfriend exactly how you feel. Tell him these are times you feel like you will go out on your own and just do things without him. He may just shock you by telling you that you may do as you please.

Pastor