Dear Pastor,

I am a 41-year-old man living in the USA. My parents are Jam-aican. I am gay. I pray to God about taking the feelings of loving a man away from me but it is not working.

I am going to hell

I went to church and I told the pastor there what I was going through. Instead of him trying to help me by praying with me or giving me some advice, he told me that I am going to hell. As far as I can see, the first step is admitting the problem that one has and try to get help, but I got turned away. As far as I know, all sins are spelt S-I-N and the Lord says that he who is without sin should cast the first stone. I don't know, why me?

Killing myself

Why do I have to be going through this? To tell you the truth, I feel like killing myself, but I know that one cannot get forgiveness for killing one's self. Sometimes I feel like I am the worst person in the world.

I told my mom and she told me that God still loves me and all I have to do is pray and trust God, but, pastor, I do pray and pray and pray. It has been 20 years, now and I am still gay and I still have feelings for men. I know that I am grown, but I do not know where to turn for help anymore.

This is slowly killing me. I have known that I like guys from I was in high school at the age of 15. I had to keep it to myself for a long time. I know that you don't have an idea how hard it is to do something like that.

Why me, pastor? Why is it that I have to be gay? What can I do to stop these feelings. I don't have a boyfriend, but I look at them and lust at them. Please give me some advice.

R.W., New York, USA

Dear R.W.,

I suggest that you take a different approach. Try to find a Christian psychologist and ask him to help you work out this problem. You have struggled with this problem for years but I still believe that God can deliver you.

Pastor