Dear Pastor,

I have a problem that is bothering me. My ex-boyfriend lives in the USA. We broke up because we were young at the time. I was 13 and he was 15. We were together for two years. Anyway, I found someone I loved. We are both 18 and we have been together for more than a year. We both love each other, but I love my ex more. We started to talk on the phone and feelings started to develop more than the first time. I caught my present boyfriend cheating on the Internet and that's why I started to talk to my ex again. He is telling people that he is single and he's very adventurous, but he doesn't know that I saw the message and it's bothering me.

I confronted him with it and he said it was not him. He said his brother sent the messages. But I know that it's him because I know the things he would say from what he wouldn't say. I told him I started to develop feelings for my ex and he said I must stop talking to the guy because he loves me and all that. But, if he loves me, why would he want to look another girl on the Internet and tell the girl our personal business? A good man doesn't do those things. We have been engaged for two months and I am sorry I got engaged because it's not worth it. He did a lot of things and hid them from me, but I don't say anything to him. My ex will soon be coming to Jamaica, so we will see what can happen between us. Thanks for your fatherly advice.

C.W., St James, Jamaica

Dear C.W.,

When couples get engaged, they are looking forward to getting married soon. You are not ready to get married. What you should do is date guys, but don't go steady with any of them. You are not mature enough to be a wife. You are not comfortable with your boyfriend and he is not satisfied with you.

Return the engagement ring to your boyfriend. Tell him both of you can be social friends and nothing more.

Concerning your ex-boyfriend who is coming to Jamaica soon, remember that this young man is now living abroad. So if you become intimately involved with him, you will have to deal with a long-distance relationship. And some last for many years. Can you deal with that?

You are young. Get yourself a good education. Men are not running away. You will always meet them. And you will learn that they don't always speak the truth.

Pastor