Dear Pastor,

I am a sexy, curvaceous and voluptuous 20-year-old female, who has a boyfriend seven years my senior. We have been together for three years, but the thing is, I am at university some miles away and I think we are growing apart. I have found that he is not able to argue reasonably and when something is wrong, he is never willing to say "Let's talk". I have to recognise that something is wrong and attempt to address it. He does not address my emotional needs and it's very frustrating. I don't want to seem ungrateful, as I don't have problems with him cheating or abusing me or anything like that, but my emotional side is not being dealt with.

I don't believe in washing and cooking for any man unless we are married. Tell me, am I wrong? He has two hands. He can do it for himself. Oh, he seems to love to perform oral sex on me and he asks that I do it to him, but I think it's disgusting. The thing is if he didn't begin doing oral sex on me, I am sure we wouldn't still be together. He is inadequate and only his tongue pleases me, but I love him. I don't stop him when he is doing it (oral sex) to me because its feels like I am singing with the angels.

Pastor, am I being unreasonable?

Not Giving In

St Catherine, Jamaica

Dear Not Giving In,

I believe it is not just oral sex that is keeping you with this man. I believe it is his money also. You say "you don't want to seem ungrateful" to him. The truth is you want another man. Most likely you have seen someone else and you want to get out if this relationship. Yes, you love when he has oral sex with you. But it is his money that is holding you too. You are not certain if another man would give you as much as this man.

Poor guy, he has not yet come to realise too that you feel that you are better than him.

Pastor