Jackass sey de worl' no level. Jackass sey wen yu go inna a dutty bathroom wey a no fi u own, yu cyaa win.
Jackass knows that most Jamaicans are very ticklish about their bathrooms. They have got to be clean enough to pass a sanitary inspection, like the food handler's permit type. Place has to look right, smell right and be right (no bucket flush aroun' ere. Hangle mus a werk! Proper! Sort out!).
But every now and then, you might just end up in a bathroom that is not right and you don't know what to do.
Heavy load
You see, if you come out and leave the bathroom as you saw it, you lose two ways. One, you carry out the load that you went in with and you spend the rest of the time twisting your toes and hoping your insides don't explode on you. Two, the people who use the bathroom after you (and sometimes, the host does a little sneaky inspection after you come out) will think that you are the one who got the place all messy in the first place.
If you do use the bathroom, you lose in two ways. One, you have to go into a filthy faecal facility (and that is one of the hardest, most disgusting things you can ever be forced to do). Two, you have to clean up after yourself and that means also cleaning up before yourself and the latter is absolutely no fun at all. After all, we a no public sanitary convenience cleaner! People get paid for that!
The world is not level at all, because when you are confronted by a dirty dumper it is damned if you do, bladder infection if you don't.
Mirror mirror on the wall
Hmm ... Jackass has also noticed something unlevel about the sanitary facilities of some of you two-footers and, while it is great for Jackass, it must be a bit 'intimidatory' for some of you males who come up - well, shall we say, short?
The mirrors are often placed where they automatically reflect the - shall we say, 'measureupness' of the gentleman who is letting fly from his fly. And there is never a sign on the mirror which says, 'objects in this mirror may be larger than they appear'.
No man, is eediat t'ing. Seriously. Man and man must look. Man and man must size up. Chances are, some smart aleck would have put a mark on the floor and written, 'stand here', then a put a mark in the mirror and scratched in the wall over the bowl, 'have you reached there yet?'.
The people who are positioning the mirrors in the bathrooms, Jackass is begging for the sake of the two-footers who come up short, angle it a little different, so the dangle will either look more impressive or not show at all.
Jackass sey de worl' no level. Jackass sey a nuff runnings gwaan eena bathroom an man an man feel shame, but Jackass a no two-footer; a five!
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