Alexander and Daphne Clayton - contributed
When Daphne and Alexander Clayton met at a funeral decades ago, neither thought the meeting would lead to love and eventually marriage. Fate had different plans, however, as the two recently celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary.
The Claytons met in Buff Bay, Portland, Daphne's hometown, in 1963, and as she told THE STAR, she was first drawn to her husband because of a book he was reading. She said," The topic of it caught my eye. I was admiring it, so he offered to lend it to me."
The two were living in separate parishes and so corresponded through letters. They also attended similar churches and met up with each other at church conferences. Even during this time, both said marriage never entered their thoughts. Daphne told THE STAR, "I never really had marriage in mind. That was far from my thoughts, but we corresponded over a period and in 1967, I moved to Kingston." After her move, they began seeing each other more frequently and as she put it, "things began to happen."
A church sister, who noticed the sparks between the two, set the wheels in motion. Alexander explained, "She saw that I liked her and she liked her too, so she asked what my intentions were. Having expressed them, she endorsed it, as did other people."
Very close relationship
The couple got married in June 1968 at the Maranatha Assembly in Vineyard Town, Kingston. Both families were happy with the union, and though Daphne expected her mother to interrogate her husband- to-be- upon meeting him, it never happened. In fact, both shared a very close relationship.
Questioned about the factors that contributed to the longevity of their union, Daphne said, "He tolerates me. We don't quarrel, even though it may sound strange. Any fault you find in marriage, it was there before. In a marriage, it takes a lot of give and take."
Her partner added, " I went into marriage thinking that if it doesn't work, you find somebody else and in those days , you really didn't have much pre- marital counselling, so you were on your own. But what I discovered is that if you really love each other , that will keep you. You must have love for God and love for your mate. It's very challenging."
Both parties believe that communication is key for a strong and lasting marriage and Mrs. Clayton added, " You have to know the person's strengths and weaknesses, respect has to be there, if not, things won't work." She also said believing in God makes a big difference as " if anything is wrong, you can go to the Lord in prayer." Mr.Clayton, added his take, " I've learnt that you're not asked to understand your wife, but to love her, as I don't think the day will come when we will fully understand women. I've been trying to understand for years, and I still don't reach anywhere."
Never tired of each other
Though the marriage is all of 40 years old, they both say they never get tired of each other. Alexander added, " No matter where I go, or who I see, I want to come back home." His wife also joked that her cooking is a big part of what has kept them happy for so long. The couple have three children together and renewed their vows a few weeks ago.
She told THE STAR that her husband had once asked her to stay home and mind the house, but she refused. She said, " I have a very independent mind. I like nice things and they tend to be expensive, and I don't like to hear no. When he asked me to get married, I didn't have any furniture or anything, so I stalled him, until I could buy a few pieces."
In retrospect, Mr.Clayton said his wife's decision was perhaps for the best as maybe if she had stayed home, he would have been out every night.
To anyone considering marriage, Mrs. Clayton stressed the importance of both families getting along. She said this is important in the event of a disagreement, so there are objective people who can intervene and mediate during disagreements. " It is important to know their family background. You have to know each other's culture, and know how your spouse's relatives feel about you."
She also said God should be in every marriage, and people should take the time to get to know their partners. " Look before you leap", she advised.
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