We also have a lot of issues that have threatened to ruin our relationship, such as him cheating. I forgave him. I've found records of his MSN chat to an ex-girlfriend back in Jamaica. He was asking her to have his baby and she was telling him that he moved on with his life by having a baby, and he told her everything that he was doing was for them. Even though she's far away, I feel threatened that this person, if not something else, will ruin our relationship. If we have a fight and I tell him that I think that he is only using me to get his papers, he tells me that he could have got any other girl to do that and paid her and that it hurts his feelings for me to throw that in his face. I'm very confused, and while I want to maintain our relationship (we can talk about everything and have fun together), I sometimes want to leave.

Please, pastor, your honest opinion will help a lot.

J., Toronto, Canada

Dear J.,

You are unhappy, very unhappy and your husband knows that you are and he is not doing anything to change the situation. You feel he is using you to get his permanent status and you might be correct. But time will tell. In the meantime, do your best to be a good wife.

Pastor