Dear Pastor,
There was a previous relationship I ended with another employee at work. The reason was I found out he was married in his country (Ghana, Africa) and has a girlfriend at our place of employment. How I found out was two of his friends brought it to my attention and one of my co-workers. I have only been with this man for about six months. Last night I tried to end the relationship by telling him we can remain friends with no more physical contact.
This includes no more rides home and definitely no more sex. He told me if I leave him that he will die for me by taking pills to end his life. I am not going to be held hostage in a relationship, but I will not be able to live with myself knowing I caused harm to another human being. He denies the fact he is married, but deep down in my heart I don't believe him.
BAD HABITS
Each time I go against my better judgement, I get hurt in the long run. Also he has bad habits that I don't condone like he smokes marijuana as well as he drinks and I suspect he does more than that. I cannot submit to being with a person on drugs. I know everyone makes mistakes in life, but my father is a heroin addict, which under no circumstance will I subject myself through what my mother and stepmother has experienced. He also has a wondering eye which he thinks I don't notice. How can I get him some help and break away from this train wreck? This is not normal. He said he refuses to leave because he loves my body and I cared enough to take him home on my days off considering I live 15 minutes away from the job and he about an hour.
What do you think, pastor?
Confused American, USA
Dear Confused American,
Encourage this man to book in a centre where he can be treated fro substance abuse. He can receive help if he wants to get help.
Concerning the relationship both of you have had, you are very wise to bring that to an end. Don't allow him to let you feel guilty. He would not kill himself.
Pastor
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