The Jamaica Star :: Commentary :: Jeezas holla

Jackass sey de worl' no level. Jackass sey dem a pene patois Bible cause dem no rate up de language.

So a Patois Bible is in the works, the Bible Society of the West Indies planning to spend $60 million over 12 years to implement the project. A lot has been said, is being said and will be said about it (PM Golding weighed in with his opinion, asking just how a patois project is going to help students understand history, the sciences and mathematics), but Jackass has his own take on the matter.

You see, Jackass knows why this project is being done. Jackass knows, even if the people at the Bible Society itself do not quite know themselves. You see, they probably feel (heck, Jackass is sure that they feel) they are just spreading the word of the Lord. That they only doing what they have been commanded to do, to spread the word in all corners of the world. For that word is the staff of life, just as good as manna, blah blah blah, rey rey rey.

They feel that they are doing the project because they rate the language as an effective tool of communication with their target market, the people who provide the mass support that is vital to any religious movement.

Twisted, torturous logic?

But the world is not level at all. Deep down in their psyche they are using the language in this way because they do not rate it. Twisted, torturous logic? Jackass jive? Donkey diatribe? Asinine association?

OK, follow this.

Patois is not the language of official discourse. It is not used by those in high position in the corridors of power except when they are addressing those they believe do not have the required mastery of English (well, ahem, except for Ms. No Draw Me Tongue). It is not used in instruction in the upper echelons of the education system and it is not used on any sort of documentation, not even a rent receipt for a one-room shack.

So, when the Patois Bible people were thinking of this text, they certainly were not thinking of utilising it in the spiritual instruction of the rich, the educated (formally, at least) and the powerful. They were thinking of the person who is the very opposite of this. Therefore, they do not have the same regard for the person they are targeting with this Patois Bible as they do for those they would never dream of introducing it to.

Equal access to the word of the Lord

It is not a matter of equal access to the word of the Lord. It is a matter of different levels of regard for who can understand the word in different forms.

If the world and the word was really level, the Bible Society people would make the text they propose twice the size that it is proposed to be. Because they would have the patois, sure, but beside each line there would be the English translation, so while you are giving the person the fish you are teaching them to throw out their line for food for thought in other texts.

In that case, then, when they see "Jeezas holla to rahtid" and "Jesus wept" together, they would really know how to "bawl out" in two languages.

Jackass sey de worl' no level. Jackass sey de people dem whe a plan de Patois Bible as plan fe nuff a de people whe read it know ow fe read ongle one degge degge book.