We don't have a child together and we are trying, but I told him he has to stop smoking for a while and that has become a problem to him. Some nights we don't sleep in the same bed, and we don't talk to each other for days and have even had a fight over his smoking. I love him very much, but to me his weed means more to him than I do. Anything he wants or need I try to make him happy, and I have changed a lot of my ways for him. I try to make him happy in more ways than one, but what about me? I am not happy anymore and the one little thing that I asked him not to do, he refuses. He has told me that if that is to make us split, then so be it.

Tell me, pastor, what can I do in this situation?

V.C., Grand Cayman

Dear V. C.,

There is no easy solution to your husband's problem which is affecting the relationship. You believe that your husband has a serious problem. You think he is an addict, but he doesn't think so. Therefore it will be very difficult for him to give up smoking. Someone (apart from you), needs to talk to your husband, not lecture to him. He needs to be told that the smoking of ganja lowers "serotonin levels and cause depression. "

Smoking is not good for one's health, but your husband may argue that he receives much comfort from smoking. He has already told you that "his weed means more to him" than you. So please don't try to control your husband. Unless he sees the need to change, he will not and it may take years before he comes to realise that his health is being affected.