Dear Pastor,

I must give my support to you and I'm thankful to see someone taking the time out to help the lives of others. I am a student at a well-known university in St Andrew. I am 19 years old and my boyfriend, who is also 19, is home in Westmoreland, where I used to live. We had sex two days before I left for school, which was my first time, and now I am suffering because I don't want to cheat, but the memories and the fun I had now have me masturbating every time I visit the bathroom, or before I go to bed.

Pastor, I knew I had sinned by having sex without being married and I am praying to never let it happen again without being his wife, but I am addicted to masturbation. Am I committing a sin by masturbating? What can I do to not masturbate?

T. M., St. Andrew, Jamaica

Dear T. M.,

What you have experienced is something that most people know. If one has never had sexual intercourse, it is easier to cope with sexual urges. But after a girl has had sex and enjoyed it, it is much more difficult to stop, and most do exactly what you are doing, and that is to masturbate.

Now the question is: is it right or wrong to masturbate? Some counsellors say it is a sin. Some say it is not. What I can tell you for sure is that it is not an easy habit to break. However, there is another encouraging aspect to this problem. When one gets married, the temptation to masturbate subsides.

I know some folks will say that I should answer you straight by saying yes or no, but I cannot. The Bible is totally silent on this topic. Pray and ask God to help you keep your body under subjection.

Pastor