Dear Pastor,

I am a 27-year-old, single woman who lives in the USA. I met a man online two months ago who lives in Jamaica and says he is a teacher. Since then we have been talking on the net, on the phone and by writing letters. We are to meet the next time I visit Jamaica.

He seems to be very ambitious and very family-oriented. He often talks about 'us' and what the future holds, but I keep telling him that I'm scared because I don't want to marry a man and give him his papers to come here, because I've heard so many horror stories of the men leaving their women after they get here and get their green cards.

Another problem I have with him is he also states he's not into certain sexual things due to the whole Jamaican stereotype of oral sex, but being that I've lived in the US since a little girl, I have no problem with it and actually do love that. How can I be with someone who is not willing to go all out to please the woman he says he wants to spend his life with?

Pastor, please, tell me if there can be a real future with this man or is he just playing me to get a green card.

S. B., Florida, USA

Dear S. B.,

I have stated on numerous occasions that no one can predict the future. There are some relationships that have started rocky and have survived. The couples have lived happily for many years. Other relationships that seem as if they were made in heaven have not survived.

This man and you have not even met in person and already you are talking about problems that have developed. Money and sex can either make or break a relationship. Therefore, I suggest that when you meet, both of you should try to discuss these two areas among others, before you say 'I do'.

Pastor