Laaawd massive! Mi ah run outta breath! Ah run, ah run, ah run so till! mi deh go bout mi business inna mi kitchen yesterday, and loeth and beholdeth, ah wha dat mi buck up pon? Nuh one live and living wolverine pon mi TV screen pose up beside Tony Gold!

Mi frighten so till all mi eye lash dem run whe fi shield dem self from di horror! Mi haffi a shout out 'ruuun Tony, ruuun!' But obviously Tony cudden hear me; so him stand up same way ah film one song and ah sing out him heart wid di wolf wha nyam up 'Formerly Sexy Brian' of di group!

Have mercy! Have mercy Brian! Wha mek yuh do yuhself so? Yuh a rasta now? But yuh nuh haffi look so babes! Life rough wid yuh?

Ah you ah did di inspiration behine Louise Bennett poem 'Dutty Tough'? "Sun a shine but tings no bright;/Doah pot a bwile, bickle no nuff;/River flood but water scarce, yawl/Rain a fall but dutty tough." Have mercy!

SIMPLE TRASH BLINE EYE!

But oonu naw bline Cherry Flawless own! Aftah mi mek mi big pronouncement bout di two rasta singah dem who DEH last week, fi har camp a deny it! But mi business wid oonu!

Mi know wha mi know; and oonu are know say mi are know! Mek mi talk di tings dem: oonu nevah start di daggerin' from last year mek him write di song? Nuh up a fi him father yard oonu go sort out di ting more time?

When oonu go foreign oonu nuh touch di road togedda inna same car more time and mek one smaddy come out first fi get a head start so nobaddy nuh too pree oonu? As mi say: simple trash bline eye, but oonu naw bline fi mi own!

LATONYA STYLE TO DI WOOORL!

Now fi all a di people dem who did apparently read sinting different dan wha mi say two week ago - oonu too mix up! All mi did a ask mi big friend is wha happen mek she stop dance fi Vegas; mi neva say nuttin bout dem off di dance floor!

But anyway, she a explain say she is a freelance dancer and come inna nuff video and Vegas dancer dem is actually di I.N.R.G. dancers wid Boricia who used to name Vibez Ihatas. Mi neva know dat at all. Den she mek sure explain say nuttin naw gwaan wid she and sexy body, dark chocolate Gyptian!

Anyway Miss Latonya Style, big up yuh status and yuh new 'jiggle it' move dem and di video! And Miss Boricia yuh have skills so nuh tek wha mi say bout yuh to heart an go swell up more. Mi juss a say yuh fi firm up: go pump two rock stone or some ting babes.

TONI-ANN WHE YUH SAY?

Massive, mi say Toni-Ann to di universe! Mi say when mi hear yuh one talk wha yuh mek, mi see say yuh can hol' yuh own, so mi a cancel yuh subscription fi di 'Oil of Good-up Good-Up Mek Him Come Back' and di new Cherry Flawless 'Oil of Tek Set Daggerin'! Mi say massive, Mrs. Matterhorn say, "Only dog have mate". To di wooorl! Some ah dem a not even matey! Dem juss nuh exist; dem naw occur; dem ah not even one dust particle pon di radar screen! Mek dem know! Heh hey! Big up yuhself and di whole 'Toni Ann's Doll House' massive!