The Jamaica Star :: Tell Me Pastor :: T-squared

Dear Pastor,

I am a 19-year-old Jamaican who lives abroad. I am currently in college pursuing Teacher Education. My boyfriend of two years (who is currently my fiancé) and I are now having problems in our relationship that might cause it to be at a halt. He's 25 years old and has a well paid job in his family company, but he still lives with his family who strongly despises me. They think that I'm a gold digger and that I will leave him after I'm through with college. He knows me inside and out, therefore, he thinks the complete opposite of what they think

Got mad at him

. Recently I got mad at him for lending his cousin one of his cars that she crashed and didn't pay for. This incident has taken place more than once. I'm starting to wonder if I'm getting too possessive because I told him never to lend out any of his vehicles again.

My mother thinks that he's a nice person, but she thinks I should leave him because he's too kind and he lets people walk over him.

She thinks it will affect our relationship later. She also thinks that without his family business, he might never have a steady job in the future to support a family.

Desperate

I love this man, and I'm desperate for him to leave his family home and start a home of his own with me. But he fears that something will go wrong and his family will rejoice about being right about me.

My mother doesn't want me to leave her house to live with him. I'm confused.

I want to let go because of all this chaos, but it's about me and him. We're adults who can survive on our own and make our own decisions.

Pastor, can you please, tell me what you think I should do?

K. E., Nassau, Bahamas

Dear K. E.,

Never criticise a man's mother or siblings. Let them talk negative things about you, if they please. Let your fiancé defend you. That is his responsibility. If he truly loves you, he will defend you.

Do not go to live with him unless he marries you. Don't shack up. Your mother should not try to control your future. There is nothing wrong in finding employment in family business.

Pastor