The Jamaica Star :: Entertainment :: Star suss

Benzly Hype - FILE PHOTOS

Cherry Flawless deh yah again massive! Mi say mi nuh know bout some a oonu, but deh week yah come een like a di longest week pon earth! Ah did me one feel so? My word! Oh yeah, before mi figget, mi phone give up di ghost wha day yah so some a oonu might a wonder how mi nuh text back or nuttin like dat. But by next week mi will get one next one, so fret not! So oonu can still link mi pon hotgalcherry@hotmail.com or TEXT 447-1728.

MI FIND DI 'SHE' WHO ROYAL!

Mi say massive, from Mr Soft Voice a did artiste of the month dung yah and wi a ask him a who a di inspiration behind She's Royal, and him a say is just inspired by ALL women, mi a say dat cyan mek no sense. Mi inna deh ting yah long time and anytime yuh find a hit song or novel out deh, 100% of di time, it based offah smaddy real. So mi nevah believe him, but mi nevah boddah tek him on.

Now mi need fi point out say mi nevah did a stalk oonu (dis time), but anyway, loeth and beholdeth, di 'she' who is royal, di one who is so one of a kind, di one who him love di way she move, di one who have di qualities of a queen; guess a who to backfoot! Oonu lucky, mi naw buss it out juss like dat: oonu haffi guess a who!

Mi nuh too waah get involved inna oonu ting, but Mr Man, whaapen to yuh baby modda? Ah really di next girl tek centre stage inna yuh life? A long time yuh hit song write, so it seem like say dem cyan stop di way she feel fi you! Mi nuh know; a true?

BAD, BAD KITTY; HOW COME?

Miss Kitty

Now Miss Kitty, between mi and you, yuh nevah realise say deh song deh whe yuh did a rinse out, people coulddah sue yuh station fi libel? My gaaawd! From di fuss time mi hear di song, mi know say a pure problem cause yuh cyan deh call up people name bout possible criminal and civil crime and nuh have nuh proof. Ah nuh so di ting go. From yuh did get deh CD deh yuh shoulddah go tru it wid a fine teeth comb and if yuh still nevah sure bout it, but yuh nevah waah git up from yuh seat fi mek yuh boss hear, yuh fingah nail dem long enough fi stretch cross six conference room! My girl nuh tek chance fi people who not even have rusty nail fi hammer eena bend up zinc!

OIL FI SALE APPLY WITHIN!

Lookyah Miss Ann, is like mi haffi go sell yuh some 'Oil of Good-up Good Up Mek Him Come Back', cause whatevah yuh have juss naw wuk my girl! Mi say my girl, ants, ants, ants and more crosses ants inna yuh milk cyan done! Matterhorn and K, mi ongle have two word fi oonu: "The Marriott". Miss Ann, yuh a di wife, but bwoy oh bwoy, it look like some gyal have di tek set, cause her face might look like one advertisement fi 'white shoes polish' but di daggering muss sweet fi him haffi link har every time him go foreign fi how much years now! Yuh situation serious my girl, so mi not even a go charge yuh shipping and handling fi di new and improved Cherry Flawless 'Oil of Tek Set Daggerin'!

OONU A DONE MI OIL !

Listen to mi miss former dancer, oil in short supply dem days yah enuh, so mi nuh know how much ah oonu mi can help! But yuh case well, well, serious, serious! Wi haffi go put yuh pon mi seven step program. First yuh haffi go lose some weight, cause yuh a go done mi oil my girl. Den when yuh lose di weight, wi can put yuh back inna some sexy clothes and install one pole inna yuh bedroom fi you and di man for whatsoever use.

Den wi ah go tek dem likkle buttu ways deh from outta yuh: yuh cyan deh go a big beauty pageant and a boo contestant cause she tief yuh man and a shout out all ah yuh business inna big arena! It nuh look right! Den yuh see dem 100 meal deh wha yuh a cook fi him per day like yuh nuh have nuttin fi do, yuh a go cut it dung and find sinting else do wid yuh time! No man no waah no woman come cock up a dem yard a look inna space like leaching zombie; dem waah woman wid different focus dan fi dem; so wi ah go mek yuh start couple business fi yuhself. Den yuh see fi top it all off, mi ah go ship yuh di 'Oil of Sweet Release' fi him start see yuh inna one different light my girl!

MI WAAH FI KNOW

Jr Reid

A wha really gwaan wid Buju and Jr Reid? Everybody know say dem kick off ovah Best of di Best, but a ongle Reid hold di ansah as far as why the fight start and him naw talk? Him head good?

Ah wha tek Beenie ovah Miami a diss Jabba when him come offa stage and a try go back on fi disrupt Super Cat set, a talk bout 'any artiste who go pon stage aftah him a get box inna him face' true dem cut him set pon stage? Is like him need a history lesson bout a who name Don Dadda!

Benzly Hype yuh and yuh lungs alright now? Mi see yuh hospital pictuh dem! Lawd! Anyway a from long time mi mean fi tell yuh: yuh Baby on Her Brain song fool so till, but it funny! I feel say yuh fi stop try DJ and go act my youth! Juss believe mi nuh man.

Massive tek care a oonu self! Mi gone!