The Jamaica Star :: Tell Me Pastor :: Meal ticket

Dear Pastor,

I have been living in England for seven years. My problem is I have a son who is eight years old living in Jamaica with his dad. I go to Jamaica every year just to see my son. This year, I decided that I would like my son to come for the summer, so I sent the relevant documents to his father and the money to pay for the visa. I don't know what he did, but they refused the child the visa. I am now going through the appeal because I don't want to come to Jamaica every year.

Cheater

My son's dad and I broke up in 2003 because he was cheating on me. Now he is accusing me of having a man when I was working so hard to make a better life for us. We also have a house together in Jamaica. He doesn't want to buy me out, all he wants to do is argue that I am holding him back. I helped him to buy a car just for the sake of my son. Every month, I send money for my son and I think that's the reason why he doesn't want him to come here. I told him to let me file for the child so that my son could come and go and he doesn't want that. He wants to see me go down.

Ungrateful

I am confused because my son wants to come and he is holding back the child. He is just using the house against me. He wants me to sign for a loan and I cannot do that because I tried to help him and all he did was spend the money on women. So I will not sign for a loan. He is so disrespectful and ungrateful, no matter the amount of money I send him, he is never satisfied. I am now waiting for a response to go to court here in England and I am hoping that they will grant my son the visa so he can come this summer. It is costing me £850 for the lawyer and that's a lot. If he had only let me file for the child, it would only cost half of that. I hold a British passport. I am a Christian and I know God will never let me go down. I have a good and steady job.

Pastor, please give me your advice.

T.R., United Kingdom

Dear T.R.,

I believe you are a good woman. Any woman who would send money to help to support her child is a good woman and needs to be commended. You could have said the child is with his father and it is the father's responsibility to support him. But you are doing everything to assist the child. God bless you, dear woman.

I am sure you are disappointed that the High Commission did not grant your son the visa. I hope that you will win the appeal. You seem to be blaming the father for the child not receiving the visa. That may not be a fair thing to do, but perhaps you have good reasons for thinking so. I assure you of my prayers and I hope that you will be able to persuade your child's father to value the house and give you your share of the proceeds.

Pastor