Dear Pastor,

I'm 22 years old. I was brought up in a Christian home. I have been straying away from my Christian principles on the basis of rebellion. I want to know the Lord for myself. I have experienced Him in my life already, but my parents are making me feel like I can't make my own decisions. My main problem with my parents is me having an unsaved girlfriend. I have always had girlfriends, not intimate, but I was never taught from a child growing up that I must not love or think of another girl who doesn't come to my church as something wrong.

I know I have the call of God in my life. I want to fulfill it, but I want to do it on my own. When my parents want to push it down my throat it makes me feel as though I don't have a say in my life. Sir, I am about to start college and when I get in arguments with my parents who are always quarrelling, it gives me a headache and makes me feel like I'm no good.

Please, give me your advice, sir.

W.C., St. Catherine, Jamaica

Dear W.C.,

At 22, you are old enough to make your own decisions. Your parents have not yet learned that they must let go. You will make your own mistakes, but they have to learn that they have given you guidance and you have to live with the mistakes you have made.

Concerning girlfriends, they should not try to choose for you. There are good girls in the church and outside the church. Some people feel that girls who are not in the church are not good girls, but that is far from the truth. Some girls are not in the church, but they are morally upright. You do not consider yourself to be very spiritual or someone who has had a born again experience with the Lord. So your parents should not insist that your girlfriend should be one who is a Christian.

Be respectful to your mom and dad, but choose your own friends. I wish you well in college.

Pastor