Dear Pastor,

I am a 16-year-old girl from Jamaica who has now become a citizen of the United States. When I was in Jamaica, I had a very loving and caring male friend. He did everything for me. He also cared a lot about me. Anyway, he has a baby-mother whom he regrets because of her indecent behaviour. He does things for me which he never thought of doing for her. She does not even have his number. Instead he gave the number to her older sister to contact him for anything the baby needs. Whenever she tries to contact him, he tells me. He shares everything with me.

His mother has a lot of respect for me and tells me she is happy that I am in her son's life because I have brought him happiness. He calls me everyday or I call and he tells me that he misses me very much and can't wait to see me again. He is even planning to come here.

He also told me that his daughter's mother mistreats his child and doesn't take proper care of her hygiene. He is planning to take his child when she reaches a certain age. I really love his child and his child also shows a lot of love to me and enjoys being around me. I feel that if I keep his daughter I would care her as my own. My question is do you think taking someone else's child and giving her the love and care she needs would be the right thing?

Whenever he calls he tells me he loves me and even cries when he thinks of how far he is away from me. He also tells me that he loves me and that I am the only girl he has ever talked to that lets him feel the way he does towards me, and I believe him. When he is talking and expressing his feelings, I realise that I feel the same way towards him. I believe he loves me because of the things I do for him. He also has a loving relationship with my grandma and my mom. He calls them now and then to see how they are and goes and spends time with them. He even helps my grandma around the house seeing that I am away.

Do you think that he loves me as I think he does. Please, pray for him, pastor so that he will get through to see me here in America and to start seeking the Lord and keep himself away from bad influences. Please give me your fatherly advice.

A.W., USA

Dear A. W.,

I believe you mean well, but you are young and you don't understand how some men operate. This guy is doing everything to make you feel that he is the greatest man on earth. However, I am going to tell you that you have to listen to what he says, but don't believe everything. I do not believe that his child's mother is as bad as he tells you. And he is totally out of order to give you the impression that he can take the child away from her mother.

If you were older he would be talking to you about marriage and giving you the impression that he is a saint, while you are away. I repeat, you are young and you don't fully understand that some men are like a snake in the grass and it is only when you are stung and you ask yourself "how did this happen", you come to realise that you were not dealing with a saint, but a devil. I don't believe that you should be so carried away with this man. You do not understand what is going on with this man and with his child's mother. So the best thing you can do is to keep quiet, just keep your mouth shut.

Pastor