Dear Pastor,

I am in need of some advice. My problem is this. After being with my baby father intimately for the past six years, I am no longer in love with him. Certain feelings have diminished. We have three children together, and we have been through a lot. We have had the usual fair share of relationship problems, but since he started working last November, he has changed. He has started to cheat. We both have told each other lies, but honestly, my feelings were going way before this.

My problem is that I am in love with someone else because I am getting what I want out of a relationship with this new love. My children's father is not the loving, affectionate type. We don't communicate and there is no compromise. I have known my children's father since I was six and he was 10. We have a good friendship, that's all. We still live together. The new love I have found is his friend.

R., St Andrew, Jamaica

Dear R.,

What is your children's father going to do with you or his friend when he finds out that both of you are having an intimate relationship? When people decide to go with others, they always find an abundance of faults with the ones with whom they were living. Face it, you have been with this man for a long time and do you want me to believe that you only now want to give up on him? Tell me what's new.

May I suggest that you tell your children's father you are willing to split because you don't love him anymore. See how he would react. Suppose he is willing for both of you to go for counselling, would you be willing to drop the relationship you are having with his friend and to give the relationship with your children's father a second chance? Think about it.

Pastor