Recently, many of the readers who sent emails to me seemed to have one thing in common, that is, there are problems around the seventh year of the marriage.
This raises the questions about the seventh year of a marriage being a curse or jinx but at minimum, a very challenging year for most marriages at seven years, more or less.
In fact, the story is told of a famous Jamaican personality who married three times and all three marriages ended in the seventh year.
Physical and verbal abuse
This is what this reader has to say: "I am a man who has suffered physical and verbal abuse from my wife of six years.
I moved out of my home (owned before marriage) but left her there with the children. I still maintain the kids, pay the mortgage and some utilities. I am even allowed back there without her presence. I left December last year, three months before the seventh anniversary.
Living with another woman
I am now living with another woman and I would like to be divorced so we can live without harassment from my wife and also to make things right. She may be unwilling to divorce. I am willing to give up the house and everything for my happiness as she does not make me contented. She found out about my new girlfriend after she returned from overseas, having spent six months there. How do I become legally separated? What grounds can I divorce on? What if she doesn't want to divorce? We have been to counselling in the past and no change. I just want to move on. Please advise me".
In response let me say that you are separated for the purpose of filing a petition and in satisfaction of the law if both parties to the marriage separate from each other, live apart (whether living in the same house or not) and at least the party filing the petition considers the marriage to be over for a period of one year, without any resumption of cohabitation by the parties. The ground is that the marriage has broken down irretrievably.
I consider this to be a state where the marriage can't be put back together again. Generally, it is sufficient if one party satisfies the law, unless there is an answer to the petition. Since you have tried counselling and it does not work, you should move on, once you satisfy the requirements in the law.
The following is the tale from another reader who seems to be the respondent to the petition. You may ask whether he is hurting or a little jealous as he gives his account. He said: "Good day to you. In THE STAR, Thursday, May 8, the article is similar to mine.
My wife and I are the same age, 37. She got her visa last July, went away in November and to my surprise this Christian woman, who is baptised, has a partner in the States and now she has filed for a divorce in January and we are living in the same house.
Hours on the phone
She spends hours on the phone with her partner. I don't think any amount of counselling can ever change my mind. If I understand you correctly in a year's time I will be free. The petition was filed on the grounds that the marriage has broken down irretrievably and that we had lived separate and apart for over a year. I caught her on tape admitting something and I told her friend knowing she would be told. Her lawyer has written to me, that an error was made. Is it criminal to make a false statement and sign to it? We have been married for eight years.
In the circumstances you have outlined, I don't believe there is any basis for a criminal charge. If anything, you may be exposed to libel or slander but the truth is always a good defence.
Keith N. Bishop is an attorney-at-law and partner in the firm of Bishop & Fullerton.
He may be contacted by email at knbishop@gmail.com.<
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