Dear Pastor,

I have been with my now fiancé for 5 years and I love him dearly. During that time I have never cheated on him. However, a few months ago, we were on the verge of separating and I got involved with someone and became pregnant. My fiancé was trying so hard to get me pregnant during our time together and was unsuccessful and he started to blame me for the infertility, which had me stressed out and confused. Another reason I wanted to be out of the relationship was because I felt pressured and I went to the doctors numerous times and they didn't find anything wrong with me.

Now that I am pregnant I cry everyday. I am so stressed out knowing that the baby is not his. He however is very happy about the pregnancy, but I am sad because I love him and it hurts me to know that I am lying to him. We are planning on having a private wedding in a few months and I don't know if I should tell him. I am so confused.

S. D., Kingston, Jamaica

Dear S. D.,

It is wrong for you to be giving this man the impression that he is the father of the child you are carrying. You know that it is another man who got you pregnant. Therefore, you should tell your boyfriend and move on. If after you have told him, he begs you to stay, both of you should make an appointment and go to see a family counsellor and discuss the matter without reservation.

If you do not tell the man the truth and both of you get married, there may come a time when the man who got you pregnant, may inform the child or relatives or divulge it somehow and that will cause problems in your marriage. So, face the issue now.

Pastor