My other issue with him is he feels that he should be further in life so he tells me how he gave me all his money. He even talks about taking care of my two kids that don't belong to him and how I set him back. I grew up in a home with a mother and father and all I know is my dad took care of his family and never talked about it. I also work and he makes it seem like he does it all on his own. Money is the route of all evil and my husband is making it consume him to the point that our marriage is secondary to money.

He walks around and tells people all kinds of things about me, including his family and I'm not sure if I can stay in this relationship anymore. He started going to church but so far there is no difference in his life. I must say he started out being the man that a woman dreams of, but somehow he just changed overnight. I always say if something was not always in you, then you could not change so drastically. I am still asking him what I did to him and how we can get back to where we were.

Pastor, I love this man and would do anything for him, but how can you love someone who tries to hurt you? Please, help me and give me your fatherly advice.

R. J., Canada

Dear R. J.,

This man took you with two children. He should have known then that they would have become his responsibility. He should not be complaining now about them. He is behaving as a very foolish man. He should learn to work with you. Together you may struggle, but together you may succeed. It is time for him to stop blaming you for his shortcomings.

I suggest that both of you go to see a counsellor. I know you are tempted to leave him, but I would suggest that you hang on to the relationship if he is willing to go through a series of counselling sessions. You say that he has been attending church. I hope the message of salvation will take route in his heart and that he will change. The change might not be dramatic. It may take a long time before you see it.