Dear Pastor,

My problem is I'm not sure if I'm still in love with my babyfather. I'm currently living in USA for four years, and going to college. He is living in Jamaica and my children are also there with my parents. We've have been together for almost seven years. We still communicate and I went back to visit. Whenever he calls, he says he doesn't trust me and a lot of other mean stuff. Every day I think about him, even when I try not to.

He is very smart, intelligent and educated but abusive and very, very arrogant and jealous. A lot of people let foreign change them, but I'm still the same person. They let material things frighten them and ruin their bodies like the world is running away. He is a good father to his child. He visits her on a regular basis. I couldn't let him see me talk to another guy because there would be problems. I don't know if I should continue with the relationship or not.

Pastor, please help me.

CD, New York, USA

Dear CD,

You speak highly of the man. Your only concern is that he is abusive and jealous. I am assuming that when you say that he is abusive that you mean that he verbally abuses you. Your concern is whether he would change and whether you would be able to cope with his jealousy. It seems to me that distance is also affecting this relationship.

So I suggest that whenever you are in Jamaica that both of you go to see a family counsellor and try to talk about your problems. After which, you will be in a better position to determine whether or not the relationship should continue.

Pastor