Dear Pastor,

I am 23 years old and a few years ago, I began dating a man with whom I fell deeply in love. He has a child from a previous relationship, whose mother is psychotic. We have been married for more than a year and I love him more than before. In our dealings with his babymother, I have been pepper-sprayed and we had to have her arrested several times.

I stuck by him through it all but now I feel that he doesn't want to be with me and is just looking for a good babysitter. He spends no time at home with me or his child. All he wants to do is hang out with mischief makers.

I do not want to condemn him because he pays the bills, put food on the table and I am not in need of anything, but I need him to spend time with his family.

Pastor, am I being selfish? I am looking forward to your advice.

RW, New Jersey, USA

Dear R W,

You need to talk to your husband calmly and show him why he should spend more time with the family. You have admitted that he is a good man and that you love him dearly. Don't do anything that would cause him to feel that you don't love him or you do not care about the relationship. I beg you communicate, communicate. That is what you should do. He needs time with the boys, but he has to maintain a balance. Both of you can talk it over and agree on which days he could go out, etc.

Pastor