Dear Pastor,

I have a problem. I feel I have a bad father. When my father was going out he forgot his phone. Shortly after he left, a message popped up on his phone saying he should come to a woman's house for some hardcore sex. When my mother read it she was traumatised. She quickly went to one of my aunts to show her the message. When my father came home they had a big argument. After that he came in the night and asked me if I was going to stay with him and asked other uncomfortable questions, very uncomfortable. My mother planned to move after she got a divorce. My mother talked to us and we decided to give him another chance.

After a while, I started to hate the woman who sent the message because I knew her. I started to curse her. Whenever she sees my father, she always asks for a ride and to make things worse, she wants to sit in the front. I cursed her and told her that she can't tell any of us where she wants to sit because she was one who begged a ride. After a week I found my father watching a blue movie. I was so surprised. I've also noticed that he's watching other women's bottoms.

Pastor, I'm so confused. Please, help me.

AK, St Catherine, Jamaica

Dear A K,

I know you love your mother and father and you were surprised when you came to realise that your father was seeing another woman, but your attitude towards your father and the woman is wrong. You should not be cursing the woman and you should not be using profanity at all. I understand that you wouldn't want her to be your friend. But when you curse this woman and use obscene language, you are telling the woman that your character is not good either.

Try your very best not to get too involved with any controversy that your mother and father may have. Pray for them, but do not take sides. Let each of them know that you love them. Your father should be more careful when he is watching pornographic movies, but I am startled by some of the things that you have said. You are sure that your father who never used to watch women's bottom is doing so now? You really have an eye on your father. You believe that he is really misbehaving. He is probably not doing what you think, so go easy on him.

Pastor