Jackass sey di worl' no level. Jackass sey nuff a de man dem whe a bun out numba two a do some tings whe dem nah look into, or dem woulda bun dem out 'two'.

Like my two-footed (We assume. Some ladies may call him three-legged, but Jackass 'wood' not know.) colleague Blakka, who invites all to box him forward, I cannot see where 'two' means anything other than being indicative of a number. Jackass is married. The two of us are in a relationship. Two. Does that make it a gay relationship? We have two children? Am I supposed to be a damned Jackass and say "we have one child and one other?".

Two is the number exactly between one and three, nothing more, nothing less.

But what is amazing is that many a man who has a problem with the number two is engaging in activities which they should really, really look into, if they are going to be so stubborn about this 'two' thing. Yeah man, they had better think twice.

For one, no man who burns out the number two should be drinking Red Bull. First of all, there is only one juice that a bull can give. Oops! It gives two. Pick your choice. Then the shape of the can is another thing. Look at that can again. Then look at the grip that men have on it. Nah man. Only women should be holding something that shape in that way, or men who do not believe that 'two' infers homosexuality.

Then there is the 'hood' that man a youngster is wearing over his head. Poet Mutabaruka has pointed it out and it is so true. How the hell can you be licking, oops, lashing out at homosexuality, including the use of the number two and wearing a hood on your head. And with the head in the hood, the piece of cloth becomes erect.

Tink bout it.

And how can anyone who is against the number two drive in, own or even look at a motorcar with the acronym BMW? BMW? BMW? Think about what that could mean. And don't tell Jackass that he is stretching it, because that is a far more credible reach than making two into homosexual pair.

And, Jackass really, really, really wants to know, does a man who is dead set against the number two want to blow another man? Several times too? For if the first blow does not work, well blow harder, no true? That seems to be the way it works, for Jackass has seen men blowing men like hell in the traffic and even boasting about it ("De bway stop inna de road an me jus' blow im outta de road!).

And don't even get Jackass started on all those ball games, where big crusty men put all this energy into a round object, some of them (like hockey and cricket) requiring them to have a wood in hand.

The world is not level at all, because there is all this concentration on the number two, which has done not a soul a thing, while those who are burning fire on it are often engaging in activities that are much closer to certain 'leanings' than poor little number two.

Jackass sey de worl' no level. Jackass sey me waan know how much foot an' han' man an' man born wid, if a no two. Oh, a mussi secan. Cut aff one den nuh, since two a hoffence.