Dear Pastor,

I have a slight problem and I hope that you will be able to help me. I'm a 19-year-old Christian girl who would like to get married one day. And during the time I started to put my belief into practice.I have dated two guys who wanted to have sex with me even though I told them I believe in marriage before sex. Everytime I think about getting married and having sex it just turns me off. I just can't see myself doing it. But on the other hand, sometimes I feel I have to be with someone and I don't want to be on my own.

My grandmother always told me that whenever I get older and want sex I should just do it with protection and don't worry about living with a man. however, that advice is against the Word of God.

Please, help me. Maybe I am thinking about sex too much or I am worried about the pain it will cause.

T.H., London, England

Dear T.H.,

Well, first of all, I want to tell you not to follow the advice of your grandmother. Perhaps she has had her disappointments with men so she doesn't trust them. When you meet a good man and both of you are in love, get married. A woman needs companionship and with a man she can build a happy and stable family.

These guys, who are only interested in having sex with you, should be told to get lost. You fantasize a lot about sex, but there is nothing wrong with that. Pastor

It is not something to be afraid of. It is something that is wonderful and is to be enjoyed within the bond of marriage. Before you get married, go to premarital counselling and many of your questions can be answered during that period.

Pastor