I was with an entertainer in Jamaica for three years. I stuck by him even when he didn't have anything, and at the height of his career, when the money came rolling in, he found another woman. He tried to keep me as the other woman because he wanted me to have his baby. I bowed out of that option gracefully and went back to school.

The other guy that I dated was also from Jamaica. He abused me and I called the cops and he was arrested. After four years of not visiting Jamaica, I went back and once again I saw someone whom I am attracted to, but I am not certain if I should pursue this because now I have the feeling I will be treated the same way by every Jamaican man. This guy claims that it will be different, but I do not want to put thousands of dollars into a relationship that will turn out the same.

My parents hate when I date Jamaican men because of what happened, but they are very happy when I bring other guys around from other islands.

Pastor, should I put anything into this relationship with the guy in Jamaica or should I just look for someone in USA?

M., Washington, USA

Dear M.,

You should go with the man you genuinely love and if deep down in your heart you feel that he loves you, let no one, not even your parents, discourage you. It is not because these men are Jamaicans why the relationships did not work. It is because you gave them your all and they gave very little. Perhaps they used you; the entertainer surely did.

You put your life in the relationship, but he took you for granted and thought that he had arrived when he started to earn money.