Dear Pastor,

I am living with a guy whom I don't trust. We have been together for six years and we have decided to live together. It has been around nine months now since we have been living together; because he would spend a lot of time at my house, I thought it would be better living together. That way, renting his house would pay for itself. I have caught him a few times in a position where I don't trust him. He was not doing anything wrong at the time, but I know he lies. These are things that happened around two years ago.

Now where his babymother is concerned, he thinks that I don't want him to speak to her, but this is not so. I think that there are limits and conversations should be focused on the child and not trying to console her on the break-up with her boyfriend whom she left him for around eight years ago. On top of everything we live together and it is like we do our own thing. We do nothing together. He pays his bills and I pay mine. He contributes monthly towards the rent and he pays the light bill, but I really was not looking for a roommate and this is what it feels like.

I'm turned off by him so much. Sometimes I'm hoping for him to mess up so I can take it as an easy way for me to leave him. I'm a very loving person, and love to feel wanted, loved and cared for. We have been to counselling a few times to try to communicate through a third party. For the most part it helped, but it is like I want to live life, have a family, become a Christian and move up in life. I don't know what this guy is waiting on, and I'm so ready to move on.

Please, advise me, pastor.

M.F., Florida, USA

Dear M.F.,

You are very disappointed in this man. He reminds you of the old saying "si mi and live wid mi a two different ting". While this man was visiting you, both of you got along fairly well, but now that you are living together, you have found out that he is not such a nice man. You shouldn't wish him anything that is bad. If you do not believe that the relationship will work, both of you should go your separate ways and do so without a big fuss.

Pastor