Dear Pastor,

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend now for over five years. During those five years we had a beautiful daughter. After she was born his attitude towards me changed. He became over-protective, which led to him being easily annoyed and very, very jealous of the simplest and stupidest things. A few months ago, for Valentine's Day, we had planned to spend the weekend together. I got all excited, went out and bought a new outfit, did my nails and got my hair done. After I was ready, I called him and at first he didn't answer, but he did after the fourth try.

He finally answered in this suspicious voice explaining to me how tired he was from working and if we could go out the following day instead. Not thinking anything of it, I agreed and told him I'll talk to him later.

The next day I called his phone just to check on him like I usually do and his phone rang and rang until it went to his voicemail. I must have literally dialled his number 100 times and never got a response or a pick-up. Becoming very worried that something happened to him, I got dressed and went to his apartment. I called his phone once more when I got there and this time it went to voicemail. I walked up to his door and I rang the bell and knocked on the door for five minutes. While I was waiting for a response, something told me to spin the doorknob and, to my surprise, it was unlocked, so I went in. As soon as I entered I saw a female's jacket and jewellery on the sofa. All of a sudden, a million different thoughts jumped in my head and then I heard noise coming from the closed bedroom door. So, with my heart racing, trying to think positive, I opened the bedroom door and there he was, shirt off, sitting on the floor and some gal in his hair. My legs got weak from the weight that came upon me that I fell to my knees. And all he could say was 'what happen?'

I was so dumbstruck that I couldn't say anything because I knew what it all added up to, he was cheating on me. He got up off the ground and walked out of the bedroom so I got up and followed behind him. We started arguing and then we began fighting. Then he told me to leave. After destroying a few of his prized possessions, I left. Yes, after all that was said and done, we made up and I forgave him. That experience made our love stronger, or so I thought. He was still talking to her.

One day he was in the shower and his phone rang. I answered and it was the same girl, or I think it was. When he got out of the shower, we argued and he said that he didn't even love me anymore and that it was over. He left me in his apartment in tears and all I could think about is what I did wrong. Not long after he left, he called my cellular phone telling me how much he loves me and that he needs my help.

Apparently, he got arrested and the Immigration was planning to deport him. Well, he is back in the islands and he calls me everyday talking about how he never realised how much he loved me until now. One day he called and asked me to marry him and, like a fool, I said yes. Yes, I love him, but I don't really know if he is strong enough to be faithful to me from such a distance, like I know I can.

Please, pastor, do you have any suggestions for me? It would really be appreciated.

M.J., New York, USA

Dear M.J.,

I would not encourage you to marry this man. He is a liar and a user. If you marry him, in my opinion, you will be making a big mistake. Sometimes he pretends that he loves you, but his actions speak louder than his words. Leave him wherever he is.

Pastor