Dear Pastor,

I am a 23-year-old female living in the USA. I just found out that my boyfriend was actually a female. I have been with him for a few months now. I am really close with his friends and this is how I heard about this. I was with a friend and his girlfriend when I overheard her asking him if I knew that he was a female and he said no. After that evening I have not spoken to him about it as yet, and I don't have the strength to face him again. Although I think he/she has the right to know my reason for not speaking to him.

I would like to know if it also makes me a lesbian. Please tell me what to do?

R. S., California, USA

Dear R. S.,

I think I understand what you are saying. You should not blame yourself for something you were not aware of. This person evidently had a sex change and appeared to you as male. In a discussion I had with a psychiatrist, he said that people who have had sex change are homosexuals. I have thought about that statement so many times and wonder whether he is correct. Why would a woman become a man or a man become a woman?

Do not consider yourself a lesbian because you were totally ignorant of what this man did. You probably should consider ending the relationship with him.

Pastor