Dear Pastor,

I'm a 20-year-old student attending university. I have a big problem. I have been involved with a young lady, whom I consider to be my future wife, for almost four years. We are both Christians and are very involved in church. However, we weren't always Christians. Before we became Christians, we proceeded in an intimate relationship guilt-free. But since the Lord saved us, we are still having trouble controlling ourselves. The Bible says, "In Christ we are a new creation, old things have passed away", but lust has filled me. Whenever we are through having intercourse, we both feel dirty and often get upset with each other, but despite knowing this, we still find ourselves fornicating. I always pray for forgiveness, but I feel that God is upset with me. I know he hears my prayers, but I don't think He continues to forgive me sin after sin. We need prayer, to put flesh aside and let the beauty of God's spirit reign in our lives.

Pastor, please advise me on what to do.

Distressed Christian

Dear Distressed Christian,

You are faced with a big challenge and if you really want to avoid fornication, you should fight the temptation by trying to avoid being with your girlfriend alone. If you live alone, don't allow her to visit you. If she lives alone, don't visit her. Meet at a place where people are around. If you are alone at any time, avoid heavy petting. If you find that you must have sex, you should get married. And the desire for sex will be fulfilled within the marriage bond. There is no easy answer to your concern.

Pastor