Dear Pastor,

I am a 17-year-old female and I am having some problems at home with my father. My father and I cannot get along at times. I have been undergoing this situation since I was about 11 years old. My father doesn't like me as his daughter. He is always telling me indecent languages and he still does it and I don't like it.

One day there was a misunderstanding with my brother. My brother was not at the house that he was supposed to stay, and the following evening we found out that he was at my grandmother's house and I went for him. When we got home, my father started telling me some indecent language and looked at me as a little girl and told me that I am a whore. Imagine, a father telling his 11-year-old daughter that she is a whore. It's a shame and disgrace.

So the next day, my grandmother found out that he was fussing at me and she asked me what did he say and I started telling her and my cousin about it with tears in my eyes. He also told me that he doesn't like gal pickney and he will never like gal pickney and everything that I have done for him he is not thankful for it.

From those days I don't like him and I will never ever, not even for once in my life, no one can get me to like that man. When he is at home, the house feels so tormented and when he's not there, the house is feeling so light. I can't stand him. Sometimes when he says all sorts of things to me, I just break down and cry and sometimes when I can't take the pressure, I just feel like committing suicide or just run away.

Pastor, I am fed up of this man. I just can't take it anymore. I am too young to have stress at this age. So, please, give me some fatherly advice and keep up the good work.

K. L., Hanover, Jamaica

Dear K. L.,

I have observed that you have not mentioned your mother. Is she not living at the home? Your father has had bad experiences with women. Your mother is probably included. That is why he told you that he does not like "gal pickney". It could be that he is also concerned that you may get pregnant early and bring a burden to him.

Regardless of what he believes, it is shameful that he has not tried to give you guidance and treat you with respect. I want you to understand, however, that your father has a weakness of character. Anyone who cannot express himself without using expletives has not learned how to disagree with another, or in your case correct a child without using foul language should take a course in parenting. You see, your father fails to understand that the more he curses you, the further he drives you away from him. And that is why you have developed hatred in your heart for him.

Now I want to encourage you not to give up. Continue to be respectful to your father. Don't argue with him. He does not know better. Pray much about the problems that you are experiencing with your father. Do not go out without asking his permission and return home on time. Be careful of the type of company that you keep. Study hard and get a good education and I can assure you that when your father sees that you are doing well, he will change his attitude towards you.

Pastor