The Jamaica Star :: Tell Me Pastor :: KOOL AIDS

Dear Pastor,

I must say I am in need of some fatherly advice. I am a 25-year-old female with one child. I am HIV positive, but my child has tested negative. My problem is that I met a man who knows that I am HIV positive. He was really nice to me and he told me he was single and he wanted to be with me. He was really nice to me until one day a lady called me and told me she was his girlfriend and they were engaged. I couldn't believe how he lied to me. He was also there for me when I found out that I was HIV-positive.

NO TRUST

Anyway, I stopped seeing him for a while and it so happened that we got back together and later got married. But I can't trust him. I regret getting married to him. All he does is tell me lies. One day I went in his phone and I got a number from it. When I called it, it was a girl and she didn't know that he was married. She said if she knew he was married, she wouldn't have got involved with him. She said that's all she is going to tell me and if I wanted to know I should go and ask him.

TEXT MESSAGES

He said she was just a friend and he doesn't know why she would have said that because he was never involved with her.

That happened in January and I have come to realise that he still calls and sends her text messages.

When he is at home he turns his phone off all the time. I don't know any of his friends and he encourages me not to keep friends. He never takes me out. The relationship we had was better before we got married. The way he treats me is killing my self-esteem. We even had a few fights. I really want to leave him, but I feel I might be ungrateful for the way he was there for me when I found out I was positive. He put himself at risk by sleeping with me without a condom knowing that I am positive.

Please, tell me, what to do, pastor.

A.S., England

Dear A.S.,

Please tell your husband that when having sex with you, he should use the condom. If he refuses to do so, you should insist. If he doesn't use a condom, it is likely that he will become infected too.

It is evident that your husband is constantly lying to you. You were happy when he marry you, but now you regret doing so. I suggest that both of you go see a counsellor. If after seeing the counsellor nothing has changed, you should seek the advice of a lawyer. I do not want to say why I believe that it may be imperative that you contact a lawyer for advice.

Pastor