Dear Pastor,

I have been in a relationship for the past four years and we got married three years ago. We have a child who is three years old. Everything was going well until last year. He used to go clubbing on Tuesday and Friday nights; then I noticed that he was not coming in until eight in the mornings. I asked him were he was coming from and he said that he sleeps where he is comfortable. He has a woman calling him and he even takes dinner for the woman every Thursday which is his traditional Barbadian food.

He treats me badly and tells his friends all sorts of things about me. I moved out of the master bedroom and now I am sleeping with my daughter to give myself peace of mind. We have not had intercourse for months and he goes to his woman's house and sleeps there.

Pastor, to cut the story short, he is filing for me and I just don't know what to do. Sometimes I feel like I'm not in my right mind because of the stress.

N., United Kingdom

Dear N.,

I suggest that you try and hold on to your man. This man says that he is sleeping where he is comfortable. Is he not telling you that he is not comfortable at the matrimonial home? What has caused him to be leaving home? I am not blaming you for anything. I am just trying to tell you that you should not give up easily.

This man and you need to sit with a professional and deal with the problems that both of you are facing. Sometimes men are just as frustrated as women and they do things that they should not do. They blame their women when the women should not be blamed and women blame their men too. That's why there are counsellors and counsellors should not take sides.

So again, I beg you, fight to keep your marriage. Tell your husband that you would like both of you to go to see a family counsellor. If he refuses to go after much pleading, you will know that he has lost interest in the marriage.

Pastor