Dear Pastor

I am having some problems with my husband and I would like your fatherly advice on things. I got married at age 18. My husband is 12 years my senior. He is quite attractive and wealthy.

Our life together was good until I went to university and met other young people in my age group. I now feel bogged down with the responsibilities of married life and the demands my husband makes on my time.

To make things worse, when I go to school functions people constantly ask me if he is my father. Sometimes I am tempted to say yes. I find myself wishing I was as carefree as the other young people in my age group. I sometimes think that I made a dreadful mistake in tying myself up in a relationship at so young an age. My husband is now talking about us having children together after I graduate and that is something I do not even want to think about right now.

I am confused. I do not want to be divorced before I am even 20 years old. Sometimes I feel as if I still love him and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He would do anything for me and that makes me guilty. When I hear about other women and their relationship problems, I feel ungrateful because I have a good thing, but sometimes I just want to be free and young without the burden of a marital relationship.

Nothing in common

I am not attracted to anyone else. It's just that I feel left out sometimes. I have nothing in common with my husband's friends, and people in my age group think I am too mature.

Please Pastor, I know you might suggest counselling for both of us but I don't want to create a problem in my marriage by telling my husband what I am feeling when he is absolutely good to me. Could you give me a little advice, please?

K.H., Manchester, Jamaica

Dear K.H.,

Get down on your knees and thank God for your good husband. Perhaps a lot of women are looking at you and are wishing that they had such a wonderful husband like yours.

I am sure that when you got married you believed that you were doing something that was good. Perhaps without him you would not have been able to attend university. So, give God praise for such a wonderful man and don't give him the impression that you are ungrateful.

I doubt that your husband would object if you hang out sometimes with young people in your age group. He'll understand that there are functions that you would like to attend without him. Make sure that he doesn't get any idea that you are embarrassed by his age.

Perhaps after you graduate you would want to have a child with your husband. At least he is a responsible man and you would want to make him very happy.

Pastor