Jackass sey di worl' no level. Jackass sey if Diana did tek dem deh chance wid a crowd weh no so stocious bakkle woulda splinta lakka wen young puss jump eena butta an a slide.

But did you ever see Jackass' dying trial! Look how Diana disrespeck de good, good money dat im nearly spen go a Jazz an' Blues. Cause is not ongly de hentrance fee, y'nuh, but a de transp go a MoBay an cum back, plus de money spen in deh pon likkle sippins an likkle chewins. Nah man, Jackass bringle an im neva did even get fe reach!

Seriously, though, Diana Ross lick har weave (pardon Jackass if that is her real hair). After all the hue and cry about her coming to Jamaica, on Saturday night most of the people who turned up at the Acqueduct, Rose Hall, MoBay did not actually see much of her as she asked that the large screens at the venue be turned off during her one-hour show.

The people were, of course, very angry and booed her when she was leaving. And Jackass is sure they are still rather vexed about spending their good good money and seeing about as much of her as people see their Member of Parliament after elections.

Bet you can't say to someone who went and was not close to the stage that night "have you ever heard of Diana Ross?"

But the world is not level at all, because if that crowd had not been a 'deesant' one, nobody would have seen much of that Ross on Saturday night. In fact, those closest to the stage would have had to flee, along with her, her band, the promoters, the stage, the grass and the whole festival, because bottles would have taken wings and flown.

Yeah. And on the way to the stage they would have been singing "someday, we'll be together".

Request or not from the performer, if it had been another kind of crowd the promoters would have had to insist that the monitors be kept on because it would have been like up in Sting of 2003 roun' ere.

As it was it was the Ras, Billy Ocean, who came for two shows last year and who did not get any especially huge build-up for Jazz and Blues who took the house down, according to The Gleaner's report on the show. So there you go. But the headline Jackass would have liked to see would go something like 'Diana disappoints, Ras rescues'.

But Jackass is wondering why Miss D did not want the large screen monitors on too long. Hmm. The larger the screen the larger the perspective. Hmm. The longer the show goes on, the more the performer sweats it out, the more the make-up runs. Hmm. Put them together.

Maybe, just maybe, the view of Miss D after a couple songs would not have been as 'supreme' on big screen as it appeared to be when she first came out. Jackass does not know her morning face or yawning face, but when a woman does not want to be looked at too closely by too many, something into something.

Jackass sey de worl' no level. Jackass sey a good fe oonu, cause oonu no gi Jumaican hartis' ratings like ow oonu mek farin one, all some whe done out, feel lakka dem a gad.