Dear Pastor,

I am a 27-year-old female working in the U.S.A. for a year. My fiancé and I have been together for nine years. Our sex life used to be excellent, but it's no longer so. Whenever it's time for us to have sex and he touches me, my body cringes. I told him that he should try giving me oral sex because that will get me in the mood and he said that he doesn't do that stuff.

I gave him oral sex to see if he would return the favour, but he didn't, so I don't do it anymore. He proposed to me last summer when I came to Jamaica and I am now wondering what our life is going to be like when we get married, because we used to live together in 2001 and he didn't treat me well.

Moved out

Sometimes he hits me for no reason. I knew I didn't deserve that treatment, so I moved out and I have been living in my own apartment until early last year when I got the job in the U.S.A. I gave up the apartment and left all my stuff at his place.

We have a five-year-old child and I am now pregnant with the second child. I am not happy. Everytime I think about living with him when I go back home, I become worried. He is someone who likes to rule and whatever he says that's the way it must go.

Can you please advise me on what to do? This is stressing me out.

T.B., New York, U.S.A.

Dear T.B.,

You had one child by this man and you knew he is an abuser, and yet you allowed him to get you pregnant again. What you have done is to tie up yourself further. So now you are going to have two children to take care of for a man you are not happy with. I cannot tell you what to do. You should make your own decision.

Pastor