There are as many Jamaicans living abroad as there are living in the country.

Most are living abroad because they have better opportunities there and I'd venture to say that most are doing okay. Some, however, are suffering but will lie to their relatives and friends back home because they don't want to be the ones who go to 'farin' and fail.

Truth is, many have discovered that living in the United States or some other country is not all that its cracked up to be.

Take my situation, for example. I was pretty comfortable living in St. Maarten for the past two years. There is very little crime (well, compared to Jamaica everything else can be described as very little crime), the standard of living is fairly decent, and the shopping is good. But for all that, it's still not home.

For one, I didn't like the idea of walking around with my residence permits every day just in case I got picked up by immigration. It makes you feel like you're a fugitive and I don't like that feeling. It would be one thing if I were, and if that were the case, then I really could not blame anyone but myself. But when that wasn't the case, it made me feel like the alien I was. I don't like feeling like I don't belong.

Other factors included simple things like customer service. We often take customer service, especially from service-oriented companies in Jamaica, for granted; but you never realise how good you had it at home until you experience an island where the service makes ours seem five-star by comparison. I am certain that if I ever called Cable and Wireless or some other internet provider querying a line that should have been put in a month before, I would never have been told by a customer service representative that she didn't install lines, and in a tone that suggested that I was ruining her day.

There is also a simple thing like having acces to the Internet. In Jamaica, we behave as if we have a divine right to Internet service and get upset if our Internet goes down for an hour. Well, suppose you didn't have it for days at a time and reporting it was a waste a time? What would you say then?

There are other things too. Like the fact that media here in Jamaica is pretty strong and independent. You don't get subtle threats from politicians about pulling your permits and all that crap and dealing with publishers who are more interested in spreading their personal propaganda than getting the real news.

There is also a simple matter of people actually parking properly in designated parking spaces. You would not believe how many people in St. Maarten can't park to save their lives and everybody drives a damn king-sized SUV. You will go to the supermarket and see a car parked across two parking spaces and you wonder if a blind man was driving. And they're ready to cuss you out if you even suggest that they try fitting within the space allotted for each car. Sure, people park badly here, but compared to how they park there, they're perfect.

But for some people, like the thousands of people from Clarendon who live there, they would rather put up with the issues they have to contend with rather than return to their lives at home. That is not me for two reasons. One, I am not from Clarendon and from the circumstances that many of those people might have been coming from and second, I have different goals in life that go beyond earning some U.S. dollars each month.

Now, don't get me wrong. I am not using this medium to bash Saint Maarten. I had a great time there otherwise and made some really genuine friends there. All I am saying is that for all the good things about the country, it's not 'yard'. I am also not saying that people should not seek out better opportunities for themselves and their families because we all have an obligation to provide for ourselves and the people that depend on us, but as hard as it probably will be, I much prefer to be home.

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